Tag Archive: joke


🙂

funny

Ben’s Webber MINI FISH

002

After.

wed 004

Ready for the festive season surf, bbbrrrrrrrr.

wed 005

After a day fishing on The River Stour+, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket. He is approached by a Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, “I was not fishing and I did not catch these browns, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and dump these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I’m ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home. The officer not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the trout back into the water. The warden says, “Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.” The fisherman turns to the officer and says, “What fish?”

 

https://naturesportcentral.com/fishing/

Bank holiday joke.

A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman
: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer
: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman
: Oh, I see.
Officer
: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman
: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for
 
drunk driving.

Officer
: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. 
Older Woman

: I can’t do that.
Officer
: Why not? 
Older Woman

: I stole this car.
Officer
: Stole it?
Older Woman
: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer
: You what?

Older WomanHis body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. 
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2
: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman
: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2
: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman
: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2
: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk..
Officer 2
: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman
: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2
: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2
: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman
: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies